Related:

• Q: Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
  A: Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise? Oh, right, *of course*!...
• WAKE-UP ERECTION -- a morning thickness.
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...when you can't wake up in the morning because you forgot to push a return address on the stack the night before.
• If you don't drink, when you wake up in the morning that's the best you're gonna feel all day.
  -- Martin Mull...
• There is a New America every morning when we wake up.
  It is upon us whether we will it or not. -- Adlai E. Stevenso...
• pencil and paper n. An archaic information storage and transmission device that works by depositing smears of graphite on bleached wood pulp.
  More recent developments in paper-based technology include improved `write-once' update devices which use tiny rolling heads similar to mouse balls to deposit colored pigment....
• May you wake up in the morning next to a dead orangutan.
• Did you hear about the recent cigarette survey that disclosed that 99% of the men who have tried Camels have gone back to women.
• When you see someone across the room and suddenly know for a fact that he's the most wonderful man on earth, you've got instant lust on your hands.
  Something about the way his tie is knotted is infinitely intriguing to you, and the swell of his bicep causes inner turmoil....