Related:

• The Next Big Thing: "Clairvoyant Consultants" Nobody likes to deal with tech support or customer service reps.
  A growing number of people are getting sick of being put on hold for three hours and then paying ridiculous "per incident" fees so some Microserf can tell them to "reinstall the operating system!...
• Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
  Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel belts are poking me....
• wizard: n. 1. A person who knows how a complex piece of software or hardware works (that is, who {grok}s it)
  esp. someone who can find and fix bugs quickly in an emergency....
• My father had the spirit and integrity of a scientist, but he was a salesman.
  I remember asking him the question "How can a man of integrity be a salesman?...
• Stacy: [the doll] My name is Stacy, but you can call me [wolf whistle].
  Stacy: I see exactly what you mean; this is a problem....
• Those who have false teeth, when your plates come out tonight, don't use just water in an ordinary old glass, use some class, use Bud Light, and put some sparkle in your smile for tomorrow!
• Lisa: Hey, Bart. How's your arm? Bart: It's all right.
  I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do....
• Some folks in this world spend their whole time hunting after righteousness and can't find any time to practice it.
  -- Josh Billing...
• Talk to me. Make believe I'm your bartender.