Related:

• If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
• Sir, may I say your attempt to hold the away team with a non-functional weapon was an act of unmitigated gall.
  "Didn't fool you, huh?" I admire gall. -- Worf and Kevin, "The Survivors", stardate 43152.4...
• If you can't say something nice, you're probably at the icecapades.
• May your breath always be sweet.
• If you are a skunk, you learn to hold your breath for a long time! -- Pepe the Skunk
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... When are you going to grow up?...
• I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.
  -- Voltaire (1694-1778)...
• You may be redneck... if you use your mailbox to hold up the clothesline.
• Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke.