Related:

• If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
• If you can't say anything nice, you probably don't have many friends.
• If you can persuade your customer to tattoo your name on their chest, they probably will not switch brands.
  -- an Indiana University professor, re: Harley-Davidson owne...
• Someday I may surprise you and say something nice.... But don't hold your breath.
• You use unfamiliar words -- please re-phrase it, or try something else.
• Boy1: Hey, nice smile. Lisa: Thanks. Boy2: Hey, what are you talking to her for?
  She's just going to say something weird. Lisa...
• If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.