Related:

• She said she would love me till the end of time. But then she said my time was up.
• Did you hear that She said she would do anything for a mink coat, she got one, and now she can't button it up.
• A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card games.
  "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife," he said....
• She said she wouldn't keep my company unless I owned it.
• I have a crank to start my car. She drives me to work,too.
• I guess the joke's on me," she said.
• I once went for a job at one of the airlines. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a stewardess, and I told her--it would be a great chance to meet men.
  I was honest about it! She looked at me and said, "But you can meet men anywhere....
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...