Related:

• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....
• Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much.
  I guess you're not an `afictionado'," she said....
• She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.
  '" -- Morrisey...
• She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.
  ' -- Morrisey...
• Holly: I was in love once -- a Sinclair ZX-81. People said, No, Holly, she's not for you.
  She was cheap, she was stupid and she wouldn't load -- well, not for me, anyway....
• I was in the store the other day and a salesperson came up to me and said, "Can I help you?
  I said, "Yea, give me what I need." She said, "I don't know what you need" I said, "You started it....
• She said she would love me till the end of time. But then she said my time was up.
• I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago.
  I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no. -- Woody Alle...