Related:

• MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Adore, v.: To venerate expectantly.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform.
  The number of plans for its abolition equals that of the reformers who suffer from it, plus that of the philosophers who know nothing about it....
• Contempt, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal.
  They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic....
• RIME, n. Agreeing sounds in the terminals of verse, mostly bad.
  The verses themselves, as distinguished from prose, mostly dull....