Related:

• HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• REFORM, v. A thing that mostly satisfies reformers opposed to reformation.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
  Of Roman history, great Niebuhr's shown 'Tis nine-tenths lying....
• Conservative, n: a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 1911...
• POLYGAMY, n. A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal.
  They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic....
• DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
  This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper -- the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort....
• HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands.
  Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution....