Related:

• GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing.
  These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling....
• LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system -- an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy
  but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males....
• RIME, n. Agreeing sounds in the terminals of verse, mostly bad.
  The verses themselves, as distinguished from prose, mostly dull....
• ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...