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• Please God, Give me patience, but HURRY!
• Please stand for the National Anthem. God save our Gracious Queen!
  Long live our Noble Queen! God save the Queen! Send her victorious, Happy and glorious, Long to reign o'er us!...
• If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
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• Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
  Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ....
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• I'm from the IRS. The government has spent all your tax money. Could we please have some more?