Related:

• Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
  Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ....
• For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.
  -- Alice Kah...
• Please, GOD, PLEASE save me from some of your followers.
• May your saliva turn out to be poisonous.
• Dear Miss Manners: My home economics teacher says that one must never place one's elbows on the table.
  However, I have read that one elbow, in between courses, is all right....