If This Is Coffee, Please Bring Me Some Tea; But If This Is Tea, Please Bring Me Some Coffee.

If This Is Coffee, Please Bring Me Some Tea; But If This Is Tea, Please Bring Me Some Coffee.

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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please
bring me some coffee.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Related:

Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea!
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer: "I'll have tea.
2nd customer: "Me, too -- and be sure the glass is clean!...
Get me some coffee and then ask me in ten minutes.
Please, GOD, PLEASE save me from some of your followers.
What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Co.?