Related:

• I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION.
  I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. -- Groucho Marx...
• In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest in the elevator.
  I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally threw him out of the synagogue....
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...
• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx...
• Operator! Give me the number for 911! -- Homer Simpso
• Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
• Madam, you're making history. In fact, you're making me.
  And I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself! -- Groucho Marx....