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• At last I've found the girl of my dreams. Last night she said to me, "Once more, Strange, and this time *I'll* be Donnie and *you* be Marie.
  -- Strange de Jim...
• Louie, Louie, me gotta go Louie, Louie, me gotta go Fine little girl she waits for me Me catch the ship for cross the sea Me sail the ship all alone Me never thinks me make it home [chorus] Three nights and days me sail the sea Me think of girl constantly On the ship I dream she there I smell the rose in her hair [choru
• When my Dad came home last night, my mom fainted.
• I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I love those slow-talking Southern girls. I was out with a Southern girl last night, took her so long to tell me she wasn't that kind of girl, she was.
  -- Woody Woodbury...
• The sky was dark, the moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was sof
  her eyes were blue I knew just what she wanted to do Her skin so soft, her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine I didn't know how but I tried my best I started by placing my hands on her breast I remember my fear, my fast beating heart But slowly she spread her legs apart And when I did it I felt no shame All at once - the white stuff came At last it's finished, it's all over now My first time ever at milking a cow....
• I lay my head on the railroad tracks, Waitin' for the double E.
  The railroad don't run no more. Poor poor pitiful me....
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• There's a comedian over here in Britain called Jack Dee who came out with a great string of Famous Last Words.
  He came up with the idea of a Black Box Recorder for cars, so that you could find out the last thing that was said in the car before crashing!...