Related:

• I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• There was a power outage at a department store yesterday.
  Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. -- Steven Wrigh
• All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
  The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store....
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors.
  The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper....
• My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I didn't know it then, but looking back, in hind-sight, I realize that when I was younger I could see into the future.
  Now I'm getting all my premonitions as flashbacks! -- Steven Wrigh...