Related:

• BIBLE A bible is a book which one or more religions consider to be holy, and to be something that they should follow.
  It is of course generally rather impractical to follow books, not just because they don't often go anywhere, but also because they are not very good at public speaking, decision making, problem solving, or any of the other qualities recognised as being an advantage for leadership....
• Attention Frankston line passengers. The 4:38pm train to Frankston is running twenty minutes late due to the driver having decided to stop at Armadale and clip his toenails.
  Besides which, staff at Metropolitan Train Control felt a bit thirsty and have all gone to Young & Jacksons for drinkies....
• INTERDIGIT Another one of those words that no-one of any importance ever uses.
  Probably devised by the same guy who thought up "recalcitrant"....
• SHAMPOO Although shampoo is designed to clean hair, its name gives away its true make-up
  artificial shit. For centuries the aristocracy continually got very annoyed, and beheaded the shit-sodden peasants for having less dandruff than they did....
• NULL MODEM Another one of those things which sits around on your desk for months, but mysteriously vanishes the day before you need it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• BUGGER Common suffix to the word "oh". May also have some sexual connotations, but we're not getting into all that again.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• UP Direction. To move up is to defy gravity for a short time, after which a plunging downward motion will follow.
  (See Investment). -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• WASH An activity that, if men had their way, would only be done once or twice a month.
  Down beneath it all, most men would much rather cover themselves in mud and walk around in skins....
• SPECIAL GUESTS What used to be known as a support act.
  When listening to support acts at concerts, look out for the drunken teenager nearby who has decided that he doesn't like them, and is demanding almost incomprehensibly that they "geeeeett offffff!...