Related:

• THE METROPOLITAN TRANSIT AUTHORITY is pleased to announce the new transport zoning system for the Melbourne metropolitan area
  which we have been working on ever since the last zoning system came into effect....
• MARK, MARKY I don't know what it is about these people who not only have first and surnames starting with the same letters, but also have the nerve to get famous with those names.
  I guess their parents were all alliteration enthusiasts....
• MANIAC There are many people in our everyday society who
  had they been born a few hundred years ago in an area with a feudal system of administration, would have fulfilled their inner wishes to be Genghis Kahn....
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• Ask yourself why the New York subway system, alone among the mass transit systems of the world, has maps inside rather than outside the trains.
  It's to force you to get on the wrong train in order to find out where you're going ....
• I came down from Jacksonville on a train that was the slowest train I'd ever been on.
  I said to the conductor, "Can't you run any faster?...
• One toke over the line, sweet Mary, One toke over the line, Sittin' downtown in a railway station, One toke over the line.
  Waitin' for the train that goes home, Hopin' that the train is on time, Sittin' downtown in a railway station, One toke over the line....
• NOVEMBER Oh come on, that was months ago, it's pointless dwelling on it now.
  The word November is actually Latin. Nov means nine, indicating the ninth month, which is due to the guy who made up all the months having a bit of a problem with adding up....
• Ned: Jeepers H. Crackers. I'd better call the Reverend.
  [pushes "Rev. Lovejoy" button on phone] [the Rev is playing with a train set] Mrs....