Related:

• Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know?
  I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out....
• It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta.
• It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor.
  Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A Dukakis aide walked into the meeting with the poll results from the Quayle-Bentsen debate and presented Dukakis with the results.
  ..... "We got some good news and some bad news sir....
• I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels.
  -- Deloris, from Roger Rabbi...
• It is not going to be a good day when you ask the mechanic for an estimate and he says he has to go inside for a larger calculator.
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team
  he said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her right cheek....