Related:

• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• I take my wife everywhere...but she keeps coming back.
• I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket because it saves me lots of money .
  .. Every time my wife sticks her hand in she thinks it's a mouse. -- "Senator" Ed Ford...
• Lisa: What's up there? Bart: Is it a monster? Lisa
  We have to know. Bart: Tell us what's the secret....
• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• My wife just got pregnant ... She took seriously what was poked at her in fun!
• My wife's not the worst cook in the world, but she keeps on burning the coffee.
  You would too if you kept pouring it through the toaster all the time. -- Jack E. Leonard...
• Nosy bugger, ain't I?
• Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.