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• Her lies my wife, let her rest She is peaceful and quiet and its best For when she is not talking and such I am able to enjoy the day very much If she will stay here
  let her be If you disturb her, you'll see....
• My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay In better spirits night and day.
• A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man.
  He says to her, "What's going on here?" She says, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!...
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble Cutter.
  This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work....
• I have just learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
  First, let her think she's having her way. And second, let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnso...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I love my wife and my Turbo C, sure miss he