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• Learn how I made my 1st million. Send $1 for Info.
• An elderly couple were flying to their Caribbean hideaway on a chartered plane when a terrible storm forced them to land on an uninhabited island.
  When several days passed without rescue, the couple and their pilot sank into a despondent silence....
• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
• Homer: [thinks] A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
  Marge: Homer? Would you like some more macaroni and cheese?...
• The little I know, I owe to my ignorance -- Sacha Guitry
• FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
  #16 Relationships: First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis"....
• The teacher asked three boys to write an essay. She said, "Write on what you would do if you had a million dollars, and bring it in tomorrow.
  So the next day the three little boys came in. She said to the first boy, "Percy, this is a nice essay on what you'd do with a million dollars....
• I wouldn't take a million dollars for any of my kids, but I wouldn't pay a dime for another one.
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...