Related:

• Lister: No way are these my boxer shorts -- these bend! -- Red Dwarf - 'Kryten'
• Kryten: Spin my nipple-nuts and send me to Alaska! -- Red Dwarf - 'Camille'
• Kryten: You are a sick, sick person! If mechanoids could barf, I'd be on to my fifth bag by now.
  -- Red Dwarf - 'Inquisitor'...
• Sir -- a couple of brief points. Firstly, you're not a qualified service engineer, and consequently, sawing me in two will invalidate my guarantee.
  Secondly, I wouldn't trust you to open a sardine can that was already open....
• Kryten: It's a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden! -- Red Dwarf - 'Camille'
• Kryten: We could go to Dallas in November, 1963, stand on the grassy knoll and shout Duck!
  ... I'm sorry; I must have bypassed my Good Taste Chip. -- Red Dwarf - 'Timeslides'...
• Kryten: That is the Inquisitor. He prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and deletes the worthless.
  Rimmer: We're in big trouble. -- Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• Excuse me, could I please just distract you for one brief second?
  -- Kryten, distracting the Inquisitor in Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• Cat: What? Am I the only sane one here? Why don't we drop the defensive shields?
  Kryten: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws....