Related:

• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• My cat wasn't broke, but I had him fixed anyway.
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else....
• I took my cat in for a catscan. Diagnosis? It was a cat.
• I [] My Dog. I [] My Cat.
• I had a cat once - tasted like chicken.
• Cat: Look at my hands, I had lovely hands. Liste
  Well wear the smegging gloves. Cat: (picking up gloves) Marigold with blue?...
• My horse got shot, so I had to break his leg...
• I'm Catholic ... My mother and I were unpacking and she found my diaphragm.
  I had to tell her it was a bathing cap for my cat. -- Lizz Winstead...