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• MARTA SAYS THE INTERESTING thing about fly-fishing is that its two lives connected by a thin strand.
  Come on, Marta, grow up. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
• Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don't think she would know sensuality if it bit her on the ass.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much.
  I guess you're not an `afictionado'," she said....
• We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing.
  But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town....
• Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.
  Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins.
  They eat fish." Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them!...
• Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop.
  She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as I gritted my teeth real hard....
• As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch For Rocks.
  Marta said it should read "Watch For PRETTY Rocks....