Related:

• In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $
  20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years....
• If a faith healer has to have false teeth, wear glasses and use a hearing aid, well, so much for Oral Roberts!
• Oral Roberts is sure the end is near, but he has hired two extra people to work on his listeners, to put him into their will!
• I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling every day from Oral Roberts!
  ! -- Zippy the Pinhead...
• It is coming up to March again, and Oral Roberts is looking for someone to hold him hostage.
  God didn't want the job. God punished him for what he did the last time by leaving Oral in Oklahoma....
• Oral Roberts is not above making God an accomplice in his latest infamous ignobility, the nadir of which always seems to be record breaking.
  Every quasi-successful accomplishment is heralded with copious prayers, incantations and benedictions, not to mention the endless claims for what God does on Oral's television programs....
• A New Yorker is riding down the road in his new Mercedes.
  So intent is he on the cocaine in his hand he completely misses a turn and his car plunges over the five-hundred-foot cliff to be smashed into pieces at the bottom....
• And the Lord Said let there be Light, then had a beer.
• Place me on Sunium's marbled steep, Where nothing save the waves and I May hear our mutual murmurs sweep
  There, swan-like, let me sing and die....