Related:

• FORTRAN - Your grey-haired grandmother. People make fun of her just because she is old, but if you take the time to listen, you can learn from her experiences and her mistakes.
  During her lifetime she has acquired many useful skills in sewing and cooking (subroutine libraries) That no younger women can match, so be thankful she is still around....
• LUCID & PROLOG - These clever teenagers show a new kind of cooking skill.
  They can cook-up fine meals without the use of recipes, working solely from a description of the desired meal (declarative cooking)....
• BASIC - The horny divorcee that lives next door. Her specialty is seducing young boys and it seems she is always readily available for them.
  She teaches them many amazing things, or at least they seem amazing because it is their) first experience....
• ALGOL 68 - Algol 60's niece. A high-society woman, well educated and terse.
  Few men can fully understand her when she talks, and her former lovers still discuss her mysterious personality....
• COBOL - A plump secretary. She talks far too much, and most of what she says can be ignored.
  She works hard and long hours, but can't handle really complicated jobs....
• Eat less and chew well. Ride less and walk often. Have fewer clothes and launder often.
  Worry less and work harder. Waste less time, and continue to learn....
• Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.
• Motherhood is an essential, difficult, and full-time job.
  Women who do not wish to be mothers should not have babies. -- Edward Abbey...
• ALGOL 60 - Your father's wartime sweetheart, petite, well proportioned, and sweet tempered.
  She disappeared mysteriously during the war, but your dad still talks about her shapely form and their steamy romance....