Related:

• I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them.
  Now I can ride a unicycle. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy argument about what I considered an Odd number.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went to a garage sale. How much for the garage? It's not for sale. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day.
  When I got home the front door wouldn't open. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -- Steven Wrigh
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it... -- Steven Wrigh
• I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
  ..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....