Related:

• If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• I can't read anything. The light is too bad.
• If we are going to stick to this damned quantum-jumping, then I regret that I ever had anything to do with quantum theory.
  -- Erwin Schrodinge...
• One evening he spoke. Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her, he allowed his soul to be heard.
  My darling, anything you wish, anything I am, anything I can ever be....
• Lisa: Why isn't Dad ever interested in anything I do?
  Marge: Well, um, do you ever take an interest in anything &l...
• If there's ever anything I can do for you -- or, more to the point, to you, don't hesitate to ask.
  *What?* Which word didn't you understand?...
• Anything I do is purely coincidental.
• If anything I have said offends you, well that's just too bad. :)