Related:

• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• May you wake up in the morning next to a dead orangutan.
• A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.
  -- Bob Dyla...
• WAKE-UP ERECTION -- a morning thickness.
• If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
  And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record....
• Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does.
  As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it....
• A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a buddy down the road, who owns several boars.
  They agree on a stud fee, and the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and takes them down the road to the boars....