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• My baby took the elevator and gave me the shaft!
• I was perfect--and then my parents got hold of me.
• I took a baby shower. -- Steven Wrigh
• My parents were first cousins -- that's why I look so much alike!
• The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training.
  Which I think is important, because when we wanna potty-train the baby we should set an example....
• My baby loves me just the way that I am.
• My mother traded with a Ferengi for me when I was a baby.
• I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. -- Woody Alle
• My parents used to send me to spend summers with my grandparents.
  I hate cemeteries! -- Chris Fonseca...