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• I was perfect--and then my parents got hold of me.
• With women, the aging thing's terrible. We just fall apart.
  First thing that goes on you is your butt ... BAM ....
• I was a war baby. My parents took a look at me and started fighting.
• I hate my modem.
• I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me. -- Chris Rapie
• I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. -- Woody Alle
• My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
• Spin My Nipple Nuts and Send Me to Alaska!
• Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
  If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money....