Related:

• Willy: I'm telling ye, I could nay have shot Burns.
  [uncrosses, then recrosses, his legs; everyone groans] Eddie...
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• Boy and girl in the bath. Girl: What is that long thing ?
  Boy : It`s mine. Girl: Can I play with it ? Boy : No! You`ve broken yours already....
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards.
  I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank....
• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no longer need.
  May I have your permission to destroy all records before 1945?...
• Just take those old records off the shelf...
• I was Rush Limbaugh in a previous life.