Related:

• You know this year is off to a bad start when your Mother invites your wife to lunch and tells her about the continuous bed wetting that went on through your college years.
  .....
• There's not a lot of warmth between me and my mother.
  I asked her about it. I said, "Mrs. Stoller ..." -- Fred Stolle...
• Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To fetch her poor daughter a dress.
  When she got there, the cupboard was bare And so was her daughter, I guess......
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• To me old age is fifteen years older than I am. -- Bernard M. Baruch
• I'm not the person your mother warned you about... her imagination isn't that good. -- Amy Gori
• Mother didn't make it to the hospital. I was born on the bus.
  Mother was furious when she had to open her pocketbook the second time. -- Jack Dougla...
• My mother made me a homosexual! If I send her the yarn, can she make me one too?
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....