Related:

• I was born by C-section. This was the last time I had my mother's complete attention.
  -- Richard Jeni...
• My mother made me a homosexual! If I send her the yarn, can she make me one too?
• Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To fetch her poor daughter a dress.
  When she got there, the cupboard was bare And so was her daughter, I guess......
• Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!
  and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it....
• My mother had a problem because she grew up during the Great Depression.
  And I had problems because I grew up during her great depression. -- Jane Stroll...
• Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whack
  When she saw what she had done She gave her father forty-one!...
• It takes two to make a marriage: a girl and her mother.
• Lifting her skirt, she revealed her treasure. The mother lode.
  Pretty, I thought, but is it art? -- Edward Abbey...
• I'm Catholic ... My mother and I were unpacking and she found my diaphragm.
  I had to tell her it was a bathing cap for my cat. -- Lizz Winstead...