Related:

• I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy argument about what I considered an Odd number.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I got this powdered water -- now I don't know what to add. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt.
  What are you making?" "A salt lick." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Grampa: Put it all on 41. [nudges Homer] I've got a feeling about that number.
  Roulette man: The wheel only goes to 36. Grampa: Okay, put it all on 36....
• I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot. -- Steven Wrigh
• Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" -- Steven Wrigh
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
  So I said, Got any shoes you're not using? -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
  Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -- Steven Wrigh...