Related:

• Grampa: I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-to
  and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss, yours is the earth is everything that is in it, and, which is more, you'll be a man, my son....
• Grampa: Oh son, I'm glad to see you! I went for the morning paper and I got lost!
  And... Homer: No time for you, old man!...
• In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Marge: You know, <we'll> be old someday. Homer: Gasp!
  My God, you're right, Marge! You kids wouldn't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would you?...
• Homer: I know you're only eight years old, and I don't want to put a lot of pressure on you, but you've got to save my marriage!
  Lisa: Oh. Okay. Can I stay up? Homer: [thinks] All right....
• Bart: You know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.
  Lisa: Nuh-uh, he smells more like a photo lab. Home...
• Homer: All right, you kids! Keep it down! Am I making myself cl--[oomph] [Homer is hit by a water balloon] Grampa
  [giggles] Heh heh, got him! Homer: You! Up in the tree!...
• Granma: Abe, I want Homer to grow up respecting his father.
  He must never know about that, that carnival incident....
• Homer: I need $15,000 to buy a home. Grampa: Oh, well.
  All I own is this house that I built with my own two hands....