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• I was such a pacifist I used to get beaten up by Quakers -- Woody Allen,Sleepe
• I can't believe you haven't had sex in 200 years." "204 if you count my marriage.
  -- Woody Allen, "Sleepe...
• I was the best I ever had. -- Woody Alle
• I am at two with nature. -- Woody Alle
• The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty. -- Woody Alle
• I am two with nature. -- Woody Alle
• I was almost shot and killed before the opening credits! -- Woody Allen, "What's Up, Tiger Lily?
• I always wanted to marry someone who was tall, handsome, and rich.
  Three out of three I gave up on." -- Woody Allen, "Radio Day...
• Sure I stole. Why not? When I grew up, you had to steal to eat.
  Then you had to steal to tip. -- Woody Alle...