Related:

• Almost had a psychic boyfriend-he left me before we met.
• Almost had a psychic girlfriend-she left me before we met.
• I had a boyfriend like that once...
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....
• When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.
  He seemed to enjoy it.. -- Zippy the Pinhead...
• Well I looked at my watch and it said a quarter to five, The headline screamed that I was still alive, I couldn't understand it, I thought I died last night.
  I dreamed I'd been in a border town, In a little cantina that the boys had found, I was desperate to dance, just to dig the local sounds....
• Had he and I but met By some old ancient inn, But ranged as infantry, We should have sat us down to wet And staring face to face, Right many a nipperkin!
  I shot at him as he at me, And killed him in his place....
• Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman! [Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.
  ] Monica: Oh my God. Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday....
• I asked my doctor if I should have a vasectomy. He said leave a sleeping dog lie.
  The last time I had sex my self-winding watch stopped. -- Lenny Rush...