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• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hi
• Never go to bed mad - stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Dille
• I was in a beauty contest one. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
  -- Phyllis Dille...
• Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... In our house, we have Alka-Seltzer on tap.
  If you cook like I do, the best thing I can tell you is not to be sensitive....
• Save your money. -- Phyllis Dille
• Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
  -- Phyllis Dille...
• My Playtex living bra died--of starvation! I've turned many a head in my day, and a few stomachs.
  I never made Who's Who but I'm featured in What's That!...