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• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hi
• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. DILLER
• A husband and wife should never go to bed mad when they still have the stamina to stay up and fight.
  Why deprive the neighbors of something far more interesting than television?...
• I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book.
  Or a friend who's read one. -- Phyllis Dille...
• Save your money. -- Phyllis Dille
• Housework won't kill you, but why take a chanche. -- Phyllis Diller, comedia
• We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
  -- Phyllis Dille...
• My Playtex living bra died--of starvation! I've turned many a head in my day, and a few stomachs.
  I never made Who's Who but I'm featured in What's That!...
• Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
  -- Phyllis Dille...