Related:

• The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....
• When you arrive at your campsite, it is full. -- Milt Barbe
• The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• You may be redneck... if you get your oil changed by your barber.
• The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it.
  If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway. -- Milt Barbe...
• Look out how you use proud words. When you let proud words go, it is not easy to call them back.
  They wear long boots, hard boots; they walk off proud...
• The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellant.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• Hello, friend! You say things aren't going too well?
  You say you have a date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?...