Related:

• If a schlemazl sold umbrellas, it would stop raining
  if he sold candles, the sun would never set; and if he made coffins, people would stop dying....
• UMBRELLA An object of amazing qualities. Umbrellas are even more adept at detaching themselves from their owners than stationery.
  They also send out subconscious thoughts to their owners....
• The Rain falls equally on everybody, But there are some people who have the best umbrellas....
• If you sold tombstones, no one would die.
• You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.
  -- James L. Blankenship...
• Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone, Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you, I went out this morning and I wrote down this song, Just can't remember who to send it to.
  .. Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end, I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, But I always thought that I'd see you again....
• The poor cat in the rain look. It never fails.
• Step back, unbelievers! Or the rain will never come.
  Somebody keep the fire burning, someone come and beat the drum....