If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

Related:

• When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
  Norm...
• Mothers mold the children's minds. Some of you have done well.
  There are a lot of moldy-minded kids around. -- Norm...
• Drink your coffee - there are people in India sleeping.
  Seen on a coffee...
• Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Daddy wuvs you.
  Cheers, The Mail Goes to Jail Sam: What'd you like...
• Grampa: [pours Lisa a cup of coffee] Sugar? Lisa: Yes,
  ten please. Bart: [shaking] Hey Grampa, top me off...
• With Clinton and $0.85,
  you can get a cup of coffee...
• Owen's Law for Secretaries: As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee,
  your boss will ask you to do something that will last...
• My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety dollars.
  He screamed, "For what, ninety dollars?" The desk clerk...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ..
  even Juan Valdez couldn't support your drastic need...