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• Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
• Would you like to be tried in court by people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty?
• Juries scare me. I don't want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who weren't even smart enough to get out of jury duty.
  -- Monica Pipe...
• If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.
  -- Norm Crosby...
• Bart: I...should have known you were too smart to fall for that.
  Bob: Really? What type of smart? Book smart? Because there are a lot of people who are book smart but it takes a special type of genius to -- Wiggum...
• If you can stand the aggravation of trying to get the kids to go out and shovel the snow, your heart is in good enough condition to go out and do it yourself.
• Mothers mold the children's minds. Some of you have done well.
  There are a lot of moldy-minded kids around. -- Norm Crosby...
• Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas.
  They go for a drive, and the boy runs out of gas, and they smooch a little, and the girl says she loves him....