Related:

• Come if you can't, but if you can, please stay home.
• Marge: [reading a sign on their door] "Parents are not to communicate with children, and must stay at least 100 feet away at all times.
  Homer: We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?...
• Singles Solution Department: When jogging close to a beautiful lady, you pull up next to her and say "Your pace or mine?
  (I deeply regret this, really, but it had to come out, it couldn't stay with me, I can't stand this type of thing, please accept my apology!...
• This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read.
  So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it....
• If you wish to please people, you must begin by understanding them.
• Please leave us. Why should we leave you? Because we don't like you.
  -- Kirk and Androids, "I, Mudd," stardate 4513.3...
• Please leave deposit in appropriate bank...
• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will Stalk you later.