Related:

• Vice President Dan Quayle wants to do something significant, and in his quest to accomplish this he went to the morgue in Washington recently and announced that he was ready.
  If anyone ever puts a price on his head, he should take it....
• Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
  But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. -- Steve Bluestei...
• A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.
  -- Sacha Guitry...
• If he should ever change his faith, it'll be because he no longer thinks he's God.
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Put his hat on his head in the john, so he would know what end to wipe.
• He should be most proud that the PMRC wants to put their obscene lyrics sticker on his `Jazz From Hell' -- which is an instrumental album.
  -- Tony Shepp...
• Nice underwear. Perhaps you should take them off your head.
• No animal should ever jump on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in conversation.
  -- Fran Lebowitz -- Social Studie...
• No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...