How Many VMS Heads -- Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

How many Romanians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
None: Ceaucescu restricted them to use only one 40 watt bulb per family to save electricity....
How many VMS heads -- does it take to change a light bulb?
"Errr... Well, I've got a patch that I could apply to it, but if you can just wait till next year, it'll all be fixed when we upgrade to light bulb version 6....
How many Unix hacks -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Let's see, can you use a shell script for that or does it need a C program?...
How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
How many programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but you can never change it back again....
How many Unix hacks -- does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway....
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb....
How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb....
How many Geminis -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Two (of course) but it will take all week, and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French, and shine any color you want it to....