Related:

• Homer: You did _what_?! Bart: I borrowed your nail clipper.
  What's the big deal? Homer: Nothing. I'm just a little edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop....
• Marge: [thinking] Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law.
  Dog, no leash. Man, littering. Horse, not wearing diaper....
• Carl: Hey, Homer, are you sure it's OK to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble here now that your wife's a cop?
  Homer: Are you kidding? Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal!...
• Abe: That's _my_ ambulance. I called for it four hours ago.
  Homer: Marge, how did you know -- Marge: That the pants would rip?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Marge: OK, TV off. It's family time. Homer: Oh, but Marge!
  Knightboat, the _crime-solving_ boat. Marge: Homer, you promised....
• Lisa: And now it's time for the Innocence Report with Homer Simpson.
  [holds sign: "Innocence Report"] Homer: Hello....
• Lisa: This is terrible! People will start to avoid Springfield.
  Homer: But what can I do? I'm just...[counts "One" on fingers] one man....