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• NEVER WORRY ABOUT MONEY AGAIN! WIN A FREE VACATION!
  This really works and is almost legal! Hello, my name is Dave Rhodes....
• A Polish Mother writing a leter to her son Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive.
  I'm writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast....
• Dear Son, I am writing this slow, 'cause I know you can't read fast.
  There are a few things happening here at home. We don't live where we did when you left -- you're father read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved....
• A Letter from your mama... Dear Son: I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
  We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved....
• The further away from home you are the harder your pecker gets.
• An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard.
  After some observations and rough calculations, the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing....
• A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Daughter Dear Child
  I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast....