A Letter from your mama...
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't
live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't
be able to send you the address because the last North Carolina family that
lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have
to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing
machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and
pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It
only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second
time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle
Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on,
so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the
car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get
me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't
found out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. The
baby looks just like your brother.... Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last
week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and
drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your
friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled
down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back.
They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much
more news at this time.
Nothing much has happened.
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...